Attack of the Carrots
by winged wolf 2
Summary: one more random oneshot! Something keeps attacking and killing people, but when they start attacking nations, things get personal. Just watch out for spoons!


**Hey, it's me, Wing, with another random-tastical oneshot! All right, I think we all no the deal here, I don't own** _**One Direction,**_**Hetalia- Axis Powers, ****or anything you may reconize. I must warn you, there will be spoons, curssing, and mild cracky violence. You have been warned...**

They found him dead the day before, the murder weapon- a giant spoon. It's all over the news today. I guess he had a right to be afraid of spoons- they killed him. No-one knows why, or by whom, and rumors spread like wildfire. His bandmates and friends were all killed earlier in the week. Five dead- Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Zane Mallik, Liam Payne, and Harry Styles. The menbers of the hit boyband _One DIrection. _

Alfred was watching the news, looking horrified. The last member of his favorite band was killed. You see, Alfred is a secret Directioner. If word got out, he would be teased mercilessly by his freind, Arthur. Etherway, he swore that he would get revenge on the bastard that dared mess with his idols!

Meanwhille...

She was terrified. _Run, run! don't stop running! You are faster than them! Keep running! _They wanted blood. She run through the streets and allyways of her home, trying to get away. Turning a cornner, she skid to a halt. They were in front of her! Spinning, she discovered they formed a circle around her, blocking any means of escape. Trapped. She screamed as the huge metal spoons were dug into her vunrable body.

Everone at the world meating was talking about the news. The same people who commited the murders spooned Lhictenschtine the day before. Switzerland, who had gone over to visit his younger sister, had heard her screams and ran off to help. He had gotten attacked as well, but managed to get himself and Lhictenschtine to the nearest hospital before collapsing himself. The two empty seats were painfuly obvious to the other countries in the room. The missing siblings were in deap commas.

There is one other seat empty, but no-one notises when it's full anyway. The meeting prosseded as normal- for the most part.

During the meeting...

_Oh shit! They have spoons. Oh God, is that blood on the ends? Back away slowly...then RUN!_ They lept at him, snarling visiously. Mathew, being a senseable kind of guy, ran away as fast as he could. He was eventualy backed into a cornner. "Y-you don't want to hurt me, eh?" he studeredout. "I-i'm just a simple CanadiAHHHHHHHHHH!" He never could finish his sentence, being attacked by the group of manical murderers.

"Mattie!"

"G-gil! G-get away from h-here! T-they'll get you too!" the man named 'Mattie' managed to stutter out, barly holding back his ferocious attackers. The other man Mattie called Gil would not stand these marauders attacking his sweet boyfriend. He jumped in the fray, handing Mattie maple syrup and a hocky drank the syrup and evolved into Ultra Canada!

"RAUUUGGGGG!" shouted Ultra Canada, swinging his hocky stick around. Flames spruted up everywere and orange juice rained down on the shadowy spoon-welders. A flame lickes at one of the retreating evil-doers, forcing it to jump into the open, leting the awesome duo get a good look at him before it ran off.

Ultra Canada powered down and returned to Mattie. "Was that a..." "I, ja it vas." "So a giant, evil CARROT has been terrerizing the world, eh?" "Nien, not just A carrot, LOTS of PSYCO, MUNTAINT carrots! They've been killing people left und right with SPOONS! Spoons are fucking dangerous!" "...aparently so."

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BLAM! Mattie and Gil burst into the meeting room, panting. Imediatly, everyone turns to stare at them and Germany yells at Gil as to why the hell is he there. He gets rudly interuppted by the normaly quiet and polite Canadian nex to Gil.

"SHUT UP AND _RUN_, EH? THEY'RE AFTER US AND WILL KILL ALL OF US IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF HERE _NOW_!" Of course, this being the nations, everyone got up in a quiet, orderly way and quickly left. Yeah right, there is no fucking way _that_ will _ever_ happen. So you can imagine the caos created by this: Italy's wails for Doitsu to save him because he doesen't want to die, Romano yelling at him to shut his damn mouth up, France wailing just as loud as Italy that his beauiful face would be ruined if he died, with Britain yelling at him to shut his bloody frog's mouth, America yelling he would be the hero and everyone can be his backup, ect, ect, ect.

All this is giving poor Germany a migrain, so he bursts out in one of his famous rants, banging his hands on the table. However, "...have you no pride? You will exit in a quiet and orderly mannor an-!" a humongus spoon whacked him on the back of the head, knocking him into the table.

Now, that table is extermly hard and thick (Onhonhonhonhon~ Shut up , France! Now is not the time!) so it was enough, combined with the exterme force behind that spoon, to knock him out for a while. Italy checked to see if German was still alive, then turned around toface the diection the spoon came from. Everyone was paralized with shock because of the dark arua surounding the Italian country. Only Romano knew what was going on.

CLANG! Spain fell, shovel to the head. Everyone started and Romano yelled, as he was standing beside him. "CHIGIII! What the hell, bastard? You could have hit me! ...Oi, tomatoe bastard, say something, damnit!" But Spain didn't move- he was out cold. Romano started shaking his boyfreind, even held a tomatoe under his nose, but nothing worked. Now it was Romano's turn to shock the naions with uncharacteristisic behavior. He stood up, smileing, whith the same dark aura as his_ fratello._

Then the carrots attacked. They leaped from the shadows, swinging their deadly spoons. The Italy brothers pulled out macine guns and shot at anything orange, laughing like insane people. Mattie turned back into Ultra Canada and started beating the shit out of the carrots with his hocky stick. Britan transformed into the Brittania Angel and cused the carrots into the deapest pits of hell, after summoning a REAL demon to help destroy them. Russia high-fived the carrots' faces like he did in Paint it White. America started slaughtering them with his super awesome hero strength.

Let's just say the countries never want to even look at a carrot again. And no-one could ever belive the innocent Italies were ever innocent at all...

You know, I think we learned something from this- never piss off an Italian.  
ve~


End file.
